Name: Formative Years
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The One Habit That Strengthens Connection and Learning

Many years ago, when I was working directly with children aged four to six, my role extended beyond being their educator. I was also responsible for guiding student teachers completing their practicum for their Early Childhood Education diploma. Our days were full filled with the joyful energy of young children, the rhythm of routines, and the responsibilities that come with shaping early learning experiences.

One mid-morning, as we prepared to head outdoors, a five-and-a-half-year-old girl named Leela approached me. She began speaking, her voice full of the excitement and sincerity only a child can bring. At that moment, I was in the middle of another task and responded absentmindedly, nodding as I continued my work.

Leela paused, looked at me, and said gently but firmly, “Freshteh, you are not even listening to what I’m saying!”

Her honesty stopped me in my tracks. She was right—I wasn’t fully present. I smiled and said, “You’re right, Leela. I wasn’t paying attention. Let me finish what I’m doing, and then I’ll listen to what you have to say.” When I returned to her a few moments later, she smiled back and continued her story, satisfied that she had my full attention.

That brief exchange has stayed with me over the years. How many times during our busy days do we, as parents or educators, find ourselves half-listening—our minds scattered among a dozen competing tasks? Without realizing it, we often model distraction rather than presence.

Active listening is a skill we can nurture in our children, but it begins with us. When parents give their full attention to a child—with the intent to truly understand their thoughts and feelings—it strengthens trust, deepens connection, and lays the foundation for open, respectful communication at home.

The Long-Term Impact of Active Listening on Children

When we practice active listening, we give our children more than just our attention—we shape how they see themselves, how they connect with others, and how they learn. Over time, children who experience active listening:

Develop stronger self-worth – They feel seen, heard, and valued, which builds confidence in expressing their thoughts and emotions.

Learn empathy and respect – Experiencing being listened to teaches them to extend the same care and patience to others.

Build emotional intelligence – They become more aware of feelings—their own and others’—which supports healthy emotional regulation.

Strengthen problem-solving skills – When parents listen attentively, children learn to articulate their thoughts, reason through challenges, and find their own solutions.

Form secure relationships – Feeling consistently heard fosters trust and connection that becomes the foundation for strong relationships later in life.

Enhance learning and academic success – Active listening improves a child’s ability to focus, follow instructions, and understand concepts deeply. When children experience being listened to, they, in turn, learn to listen carefully to their teachers, evaluate the information they are hearing, and engage thoughtfully in their learning. This reflective listening supports comprehension, critical thinking, and the ability to apply knowledge effectively.

The next time your child speaks to you, pause for a moment. Look into their eyes, set aside the mental to-do list, and listen—truly listen. In those few moments, you’re not only hearing their words; you’re showing them that they matter. And that, more than anything else, teaches them the power of presence and connection.

At Formative Years, we help parents build meaningful relationships through intentional communication and understanding. If you’d like support in fostering these skills, book a complimentary 15-minute meet and greet at formativeyears.ca. Together, we can help your child feel truly heard and valued.