How to Raise a Child Who Can do Hard Things

Why Children Need to Show Up—Even on Hard Days

When I was in primary school, there were mornings when the thought of going to class felt impossibly heavy. Even at seven, I understood that my dad was easier to persuade. I would quietly approach him first, hoping he might let me stay home. Often, he did. “It’s okay,” he would say gently. “You can rest today.”

My mom, however, took a different approach—one I didn’t appreciate at the time. If I wasn’t sick, she insisted that school was important. She always added, much to my irritation, “When you get there, you’ll feel better. And at the end of the day, you’ll be glad you went.”

And so, whether I felt like going or not, I found myself being dropped off at school.

The surprising part? She was right. I remember walking out of school at the end of those days with a small shimmer of pride. I had shown up, even when I didn’t want to. And that feeling mattered.

Years later, I began to see just how deeply that childhood lesson had settled into my life. As an adult, I attended night classes for almost all my post-secondary education while working during the day. My attendance became non-negotiable—simply part of who I was. On evenings when exhaustion crept in and I toyed with the idea of skipping class, I heard my mother’s voice echo in my mind: Once you get there, you’ll feel better. And every time, without fail, I did. That night-school routine was only one example, but it revealed something bigger—the quiet persistence she taught me in childhood had followed me into adulthood, shaping how I approached responsibility, commitment, and the moments when showing up felt hardest. Whether it was navigating long workdays, committing to night classes, or simply pushing through the tiring seasons of adulthood, the message was the same: show up, even when you don’t feel like it.

Looking back, I now see how powerful those early experiences were. My mother’s firmness was not about discipline for its own sake; it was an act of long-term love. She taught me that discomfort is not a signal to stop—often, it’s a moment to lean in. My dad, from a place of kindness, wanted to shield me from temporary distress. My mother, from that very same place of love, wanted to strengthen the part of me that would need resilience later in life.

Both intentions were rooted in care, but one helped me build a skill I now rely on daily: the ability to show up even when I don’t feel like it.

As parents, we often want to clear every obstacle from our children’s path. We want to make things easier, to reduce their struggle, to protect them from discomfort. But in doing so, we sometimes take away the very experiences that help them grow.

Resilience isn’t built in comfort. It’s built in those small, everyday moments when a child learns that they can do hard things—that they can feel unsure, tired, or unwilling and still move forward.

And so, perhaps one of the greatest gifts we can give our children is not the removal of challenges, but the courage and consistency to face them. Not for today’s ease, but for tomorrow’s strength.

Take a moment this week to notice when your child is tempted to avoid a challenge. Instead of removing the obstacle, gently guide them through it. Encourage them to show up, reassure them that the discomfort will pass, and celebrate their effort afterward. These small but meaningful steps help nurture the resilience they’ll rely on for life.

If you’d like support in fostering resilience, confidence, and emotional growth at home, I invite you to connect with me through Formative Years. Together, we can help your child build the skills they’ll carry into adulthood.