Helping Children Face Anxiety Not Avoid it

When Anxiety Begins Early: Lessons from Suba and David

Suba was one of my 17-year-old students who often struggled to attend her classes regularly. When she did come, she was frequently late, and her assignments arrived past the deadline. She often approached me to express how anxious she felt about upcoming tests and projects.

Over the semester, I worked closely with her—helping her organize her time, plan ahead, and manage her workload step by step. By the end, she showed steady improvement: she was more punctual, more prepared, and noticeably more confident.

You might wonder why I’m beginning this blog with a 17-year-old student when my parenting practice focuses on children ages 2 to 8. The reason is simple yet deeply significant.

Alongside my 19 years of experience as an early childhood educator, I’ve also had the privilege of teaching post-secondary students. This combined perspective has shown me a powerful truth: skills that are not nurtured in early childhood rarely emerge later. Whether it’s self-regulation, organization, or the ability to manage anxiety—if these foundations are not built early, they become much harder to establish in adolescence and adulthood.

Understanding Anxiety in Early Childhood

Anxiety is a universal human emotion. Even the most confident among us feel its grip when faced with uncertainty or challenge. For preschoolers, this feeling appears often—they are constantly encountering new experiences, people, and expectations. Learning to sit with that discomfort, rather than avoid it, is how emotional resilience takes root.

I still remember one of my preschoolers, David, a four-and-a-half-year-old who struggled deeply with anxiety. His drop-off times varied from day to day because his parents wanted to “wait until he felt ready” to come to the childcare center.

David often displayed strong emotions throughout the day. Transitions—to outdoor play, to meals, to home—were all difficult. When it was time to leave, he sometimes refused to go, and his parents had to carry him out at closing time.

Later, I taught his younger sister, and through their family, I learned that David’s anxiety had grown as he got older. School required more structure, and he couldn’t arrive whenever he wanted. His parents began seeking strategies to support him—realizing that waiting for readiness had, in fact, delayed his ability to regulate discomfort.

Helping Children Manage Anxiety

Anxiety in children is not something to eliminate—it’s something to guide. Here are a few foundational strategies that help:

Listen Attentively
When your child expresses fear or worry, resist the urge to fix or dismiss it. Simply listening with full attention communicates safety and understanding.

Create Predictability
Routines provide children with a sense of control and stability. The more predictable the environment, the less space anxiety has to grow.

Model Calm
Children look to adults for cues. Your calm tone, steady presence, and composed reactions show them what self-regulation looks like.

Encourage Gradual Exposure
Avoiding anxiety-provoking situations strengthens fear. Support your child in facing challenges in small, manageable steps—with encouragement, not pressure.

Share Your Own Examples
Tell your child about a time when you felt anxious and how you handled it—whether it was speaking in front of others or trying something new. When children hear that even adults experience anxiety and overcome it, they feel less alone and more capable of doing the same.

Celebrate Effort
Each time a child shows courage—whether by walking into the classroom or trying a new activity—acknowledge that effort. It builds the belief: “I can handle hard things.”

Helping anxious children begins not with removing their fears, but by walking beside them as they learn to face those fears with growing confidence. The earlier we nurture this skill, the stronger and more resilient they become—ready not only for childhood, but for life.

If your child often worries or struggles to manage transitions, you’re not alone—and your guidance can make a lasting difference. In my coaching sessions, I help parents understand the roots of anxiety and build calm, practical strategies to support their child’s growth. Reach out and book a complimentary 15-minute meet and greet at formativeyears.ca